The rules of chocolate

- If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

- Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

- The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the shop in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the car park.

- Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

- A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

- If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

- If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

- Money talks. Chocolate sings.

-Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

-If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top tights. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

- Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

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