Diet Jokes http://www.dietjokes.co.uk/ Welcome to Diet Jokes where you can read the best jokes, funny quotations, anecdotes, limericks, witticisms and humorous cartoons about diets and dieting. With a slice of cucumber Girl: I'd like a triple vanilla ice cream sundae with chocolate syrup, nuts, whipped cream, topped off with a slice of cucumber. http://www.dietjokes.co.uk/jokes/094.php I get very tired when I go on a diet... "I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." http://www.dietjokes.co.uk/jokes/093.php Diet soda Two blondes decided to share a can of diet soda. One blonde opened the can, poured half the contents into her own glass, and the other half into her friend's glass. http://www.dietjokes.co.uk/jokes/092.php Diet coke spoof Every woman's Mr. Right? http://www.dietjokes.co.uk/jokes/090.php Mommy's on a Diet Uh-oh! http://www.dietjokes.co.uk/jokes/089.php The Bachelor Diet Breakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth... http://www.dietjokes.co.uk/jokes/088.php Celery After my husband asked me to help him shed some unwanted pounds, I stopped serving fattening TV snacks and substituted crisp celery... http://www.dietjokes.co.uk/jokes/087.php Weight Watchers A friend and I had joined a Weight Watchers group. At the first meeting the lecturer asked members which food or department at the supermarket was the most tempting to them... http://www.dietjokes.co.uk/jokes/086.php Weight-watchers' spelling Introducing: L I T E http://www.dietjokes.co.uk/jokes/085.php Holy Olestra! What did the Catholic Church call its new fat-free, low-calorie communion wafer? http://www.dietjokes.co.uk/jokes/084.php A cannibal and his son A cannibal and his son are going to look for food. They hide behind some bushes and waited for someone to come by. http://www.dietjokes.co.uk/jokes/083.php Food and Heaven This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise. http://www.dietjokes.co.uk/jokes/082.php Fat sex A rather large gentleman whose name was Paul was married to a woman who was as heavy as he was, if not more so... http://www.dietjokes.co.uk/jokes/081.php